We've survived over a week so far......

Firstly, Dave's hair is growing REALLY slowly, and we can't work out why. Secondly, everyone keeps staring at his legs. This must be for one of two reasons....... Either he has fantastic, toned, tanned pins, or they're the palest two things ever to be spotted in Thailand. Still trying to work it out....

Since our last post we've been really busy. On Monday we got up at 6.15am (after an hour's sleep!), and got on a bus for about an hour and a quarter to the floating market. It was amazing. You get on what is basically a long canoe-type-thing which holds 6 people (see picture!).

As you're rowed up and down a maze of canals, there are shops floating past too. If you want to buy something then the two boats meet in the middle of the water. Job done.

After the floating market we went to see a monkey show. It was pretty cool to get a photo with one, but also a bit worrying.

It seemed really cruel seeing them chained up. They were only being allowed off the chain to play basketball or ride a bike. We could only imagine what punishment one particular monkey would be getting after we left. It dared to refuse to jump through a ring of fire.

On a happier note, we met an elephant in the car park and fed it bananas. So there.

Next on the agenda was a crocodile and elephant show. You can imagine it, elephants playing football and generally being big and heavy.

The crocodiles were BRILLIANT!! There were two members of staff, each with a death wish, who would put things in the crocodile's mouth and try and get them out before the jaws snapped shut.

When we say things, we mean their heads. They would prise open the croc's mouth, lay on the floor and put their whole head in between the jaws. There must be safer ways to make a few baht than that, surely?!

Got home, drank beer, went to bed. (We'll not bother adding that bit in future, just presume it to be true.)

Tuesday....

Woke up late, jumped on the Skytrain to the river, and got on the boat to see the Grand Palace lit up at night. We decided the cheapest way to do this was to get on one of the free shuttle boats which served the major hotels.

Us being us, we got on the wrong boat and went in the wrong direction down the river, and ended up at the Marriott hotel. It has a swimming pool. And we were in shorts.....

So, we strolled over to the towel man, told him we were in room 417 (never fails) and went for a swim!! Free swimming is so much better than the old-fashioned paid-for type.

Went to KFC (it's not the same taste as home!), back on the Skytrain (still with wet shorts. It looked like we'd both had a toilet accident by this point.), beers, bed.

Typing is hard work.

Wednesday was the day we were finally going to cuddle tigers. You'll never guess what happened... We missed our train.

Yeah but, no but, yeah but it wasn't our fault yeah. Traffic chaos at 6.15am (it never, ever stops) meant it took ages to get to Bangkok Noi station, so we missed the first of only 3 trains a day to Kanchanaburi.

We had about 6 hours to kill, so we thought it would be good idea to get a taxi to the Grand Palace. Got there in shorts, only to be told (1) you have to wear long trousers, and (2) it wasn't open til 11am.

We are rubbish at stuff.

Plan C kicked in (wish we'd made a plan 'A' and 'B'), and a very nice Tuk-Tuk driver took us to the Golden Mount and waited while we went in, the Big Buddah (and waited while we went in), then back to the Grand Palace. This cost us the grand total of 20 baht. That's 30p.

Golden Mount is a big building with lots of steps and a great view over the city, and Big Buddah is..... a big Buddha.

So, back to the Grand Palace, rented some long trousers (bet we looked good on their dancefloor) and had a look round. It's impressive, as the photo will show. Lots of tourists and lots of blokes with guns. Only small blokes though and we think they work there.

Finally got the train just before 2pm to Kanchanaburi, 2 hours West of Bangkok. Really enjoyed our first Thai train journey, sat chilling with some monks in our carriage.

Checked in to a wicked log cabin on stilts at the Blue Star Resort in Kanchanaburi, and had a bit of a kip. Went out for a beer about 11pm, and got chatting to two people from Holmfirth. That's in Yorkshire you know. One of them was Simon Hirst's old accountant back in his Hallam FM days!!

Next day was definitely Tiger cuddling day. (Heard that before somewhere?!)

So on Thursday we decided to go to the Erewan Waterfall in the morning, then the Tiger Temple in the afternoon. We hired a scooter after a Thai breakfast of beans on toast, and set off.

After 48 miles of Matt's legs being wrapped round Dave on a scooter, we arrived at the waterfall. 7 tiers to climb up, each one absolutely stunning. We got as far as level 5 and had a swim. We'll let the photos do the talking about this one.

Came back via the Tiger Temple, took AGES to find it, and by that time it was closed. No tigers for us then.

So, beers, food, and an extra night in Kanchanaburi (!) meant TODAY was the day we'd DEFINITELY see the tigers. Bloody sick of saying that.

Friday 9th November 2007. The day Matt and Dave would finally get to cuddle tigers. Surely nothing could go wrong?

It didn't, and we finally got to meet a monk and his cats. His cats are big. We paid 1000 baht (about 14 quid) to get a big tiger's head in our lap. The reason the tiger is happy to have it's head slung in people's laps all day is because it is asleep for the whole thing!!

Apart from the big one, there were about 6 other tigers, some awake, some asleep, and we were led from one to another for photos. They sleep for up to 20 hours a day. Best job ever.

Missed another train, so got a bus back to the wrong part of Bangkok, taxi back to prison, wrote this.

Phew.