Wednesday 21 November 2007

Broken toe in Ko Samui....

Dave's broken his toe.

Well, we're pretty sure he has. Here's a photo.


(It's the second one from the left by the way. The other toes have always been a bit weird.)
Right then, it was temples last time, and we've been all over the place since then!!

Wednesday 14th November

Got up at 5.30, and got picked up. Literally.

A pick-up truck turned up to take us to get the ferry to Phnom Penh, with 6 people (plus luggage) sat on the back already. There was definitely no room for us, so we got on. With our rather large rucksacks.

6 people later, and enough was enough. 12 people crammed on to a pick-up truck. 4 in the cab with the driver, and a total of 10 people (plus luggage!) on the back.

We got the speedboat for 6 hours down the river Mekong to Phnom Penh, making sure we got completely sunburnt on the way.


Arrived in Phnom Penh to be greeted by scores of tuk-tuk drivers (all called Mr Tuk-Tuk we believe), all offering to take us to their choice of hotel. We bartered (and won!) and got a lift to the Spring Guesthouse.

We went for some food at Mama's Restaurant and met an American war veteran. He actually said the famous line... ''When I was in 'Nam''. Best christmas ever.

We saw a bloke that looked like Gordon Ramsay that night. And a massive insect thing jumped on Dave's face.

Thursday 15th November

We went to the Genocide museum via Del Gusto restaurant.

The lady who showed us round had lost her whole family to the Poi Pot regime. Her husband, parents and children were all killed at the S-21 concentration camp. (Which is now the museum)

We looked round the cells that prisoners were kept in, and there were hundreds of skulls there of victims. You can even see where the bullet entered and left the victim's head.

On a happier note, we went for a free swim at the Royal Palace hotel. Not up to our usual free swim standards, but it was better than having a shower.

We went to the riverside area (where most of the bars and travellers were) on the back of a 'moto' (motorbike taxi), had a cheeseburger, then slept.

Friday 16th November

After yesterday's cheer, we topped it today by going to the killing fields, where 8,000 bodies have so far been exhumed. It was here that many executions took place, and the bodies buried.


People were executed in various ways, and some graves were full of headless bodies.

There is a display of all the skulls that have been found here too. Scary to think it all happened less than 30 years ago.


Saturday 17th November

Got a tuk-tuk to Phnom Penh airport, had fish and chips (it's a local dish, you wouldn't have heard of it). Flew from Phnom Penh to Ho Chi Minh City in Vietnam, and on to Hanoi. We had to pay $25 each to LEAVE Cambodia!! Ridiculous.

Got the airport bus in to Hanoi, and headed for the famous 'Old Quarter', where all the action is. We checked in to the Carmellia Hotel, and had some food and drinks.

Sunday 18th November

Walked to the lake in the centre of Hanoi, and visited a small temple on an island.

There is a beer brewed in Vietnam call 'Bia Hoi'. It's sold on virtually every street corner, and it costs 2ooo dong per glass. That's about 7p.

So, a few Bia Hoi's later, and wallet still very much intact, we were loving every second.

We ended up in a strange club called 'Funky Monkey', but left after one drink. (It cost nearly a pound. Far too expensive.)

EVERYTHING closes at midnight in Hanoi. Bars, shops and restaurants all close down and the police come round to check. We managed to bribe the Bia Hoi lady for one last drink about 12.10. We're so naughty.


Monday 19th November

We'd booked a trip to Halong Bay for today, so we got up at 7.45 to be picked up at 8.

It's a 3-4 hour bus ride, and there was a bloke on the bus who managed to talk for the whole journey. Non-stop. Without a break. He just talked, and talked, and talked. The guy was amazing.

Unfortunately, when we got there, it turned out he was going on a different trip, so we parted company there. I bet he's still talking though.

Got on our boat, and headed out to sea. We visited a fishing village on the way (a floating village, naturally), and then had lunch served on the boat. Squid and chips. Lovely stuff.

Then we got on a smaller boat and sailed under a cave to some hidden lagoons. Absolutely stunning. One of the most memorable things we've done so far.

Then we landed, and walked up a steep hill to another, massive cave. It's all illuminated now, and looks incredible.


Got back to Hanoi (still no sign of talking boy), and had some more Bia Hoi's. Then bed.

Tuesday 20th November

Up at 6.30 to get a taxi to Hanoi airport. Our driver was having a row on the phone, in Vietnamese, all the way.

Got the 9.20 flight to Bangkok, where there was something being filmed in the airport. Dave will definitely be on telly somewhere in the world fairly soon. (Accidentally walked in front of the camera!!)

Finally got our flight on to Surat Thani, where we got a bus to the pier. It's about an hour and a half journey, so we both slept.

We caught the 7pm ferry to Ko Samui which took about 2 hours, and shared a taxi with some people we'd met to the Chaweng Bay on the other side of the island. This is where it's all at. There's Starbucks, McDonalds, Burger King etc. It is the most commercialised place you'll ever see! It's like Blackpool with good weather. But cheaper.

While we were in Black Jack English Pub (!!!), a bloke came along with an Iguana and let us take photos with it....


Then another guy turned up with a monkey....



Then we went and danced the night away (we're rubbish), and ended up at a beach party at the hotel next door. The sea is warm even at 4am!! Brilliant night.

As we were walking through the hotel grounds, Dave walked in to a piece of concrete sticking up from the ground, and we're fairly sure he's broken his toe. But a kind local man poured some red stuff on it, so it'll be fine.

3 days to get it fixed before the full moon party. It ain't gonna happen. Gutted.


Not a bad beach though is it?


Speak to you soon!! xxx

Tuesday 13 November 2007

Cambodia-tastic!

So, the last time we blogged we'd been cuddling tigers.

The following day (Saturday 10th) we got up at 4.30am (after an hour's sleep!), and got a taxi to Bangkok Hualamphong train station. Had 2 chicken curry pasties each for breakfast, some crisps and water. Our bodies are temples.

Caught the 5.55am train (yes, we actually made it on time!) to Aranyaprathet, which is a couple of miles from the Cambodian border. 6 hours later, we arrived.


Matt + Dave + wooden train seats = rubbish news.

Got a tuk-tuk to the border (well, that's what we asked for), and got dropped off about 500 yards short of the border. Got surrounded by pushy blokes (no uniforms, no ID badges) telling us to pay them 1000 baht, and fill in our immigration form. By the side of the road. Next to a shop.

We smelled a rat.

Turns out there was a dead rat on the floor. (Not really.)

We put our heads together with some Germans, and decided to venture on to the border without handing over cash to strangers. Got to the border, filled in some (completely different) forms, and we were allowed through in to no-man's land.

We were out of Thailand but not yet in Cambodia. We were hoping no-man's land would be full of fit girls in bikinis, but it wasn't. Just pickpockets.

Had to fill in one more form and hand in a photo each. We tried giving them a photo of us with a tiger but they didn't want it.

At this point we had to pay 20 US dollars, but we didn't have any. So Dave went to find an ATM. The nearest one was about a ten minute walk away, inside a casino. Except it wasn't. Had to go to the counter and swipe for the cash. (Dave was tempted to put it all on red, but decided not to.)

Finally, after messing about in the casino for about 40 mins, made it back to Matt and the Germans.

The Germans (they didn't have names) were heading to Siam Reap, and we were heading to Phnom Penh. In the end we all shared a taxi to Siam Reap, as we'd heard that 'all travellers go there'.

The taxi took about 4 hours on the bumpiest road known to mankind. We heard that certain airlines pay bribes so that the road is not improved, thus encouraging more people to fly in. It really was so bad that we decided that we weren't ever going back on that road.

On the way, we saw some real poverty, and when we stopped for petrol we were surrounded by kids asking for English, American or Thai money. We handed over 10 baht (about 13p) and one little boy couldn't believe his luck and ran off smiling!!


Finally arrived in Siam Reap, and checked in to the Bequest Angkor Hotel. 13 US dollars per night for a very nice twin room with air-con, satellite TV, fridge and en-suite bathroom.

Went out, got drunk.

Next day we went to a very posh hotel to use their 'lagoon pool'. Only 12 dollars each for a swim. Used the old 'Marriott in Bangkok' trick...... Walked in, went straight past reception and went swimming for hours for free!!



After a heavy downpour (first rain we've felt since we left the UK), and a sauna, steam room and power shower, we used their complimentary fluffy towels and thought we'd best leave.

When we left the hotel there were lots of police outside, but they weren't there for us.

Went for some very tasty food (Dave - Steak, Matt - Chicken Mexicana), and ended up clubbing in Cambodia with our tuk-tuk driver!! It was mental, a massive club with 6 lazers, about 1000 people, and us.

We were two of only 5 non-Cambodians in there, and as we were showing off our moves on the dancefloor, a few clubbers made it clear they didn't want us there. Oh well. We run this town now.

Went back to the hotel, slept.

Next day (Monday) was a day we'd been waiting for.

We knew we could fire big guns in Cambodia, so that's what we did. We got our new best friend Mr Tuk Tuk to take us to a shooting range. When we arrived, we couldn't believe our eyes.... We were faced with a wall with about 40 guns hanging up, ranging from AK-47s and M-16s to rocket launchers.



There were about 5 blokes working there, all with their scary logo and slogan on their jackets. The slogan 'Mess With The Best, Die Like The Rest' made us realise we don't run this town.

Our slogan 'We Love Dave Kilner' did little to intimidate them.

If you don't know who Dave Kilner is, we'll explain when we get back. He's in Dave's phone as 'God'. Nuff said.

So we got dressed up in army gear, (pointless but brilliant) and were told to choose our weapon. We never thought we'd be saying to each other... ''Can you hold my AK-47 for a second please?''.

So there we were. Dave Henning and Matt Mackay with machine guns. Loaded. In our hands. With a trigger. You get the idea...


To start with, it was in semi-automatic mode, so each time you pull the trigger, one bullet is fired. Then we switched to automatic, and that's when the fun really started!! Pull the trigger, and the bullets fired just like in the movies.


30 bullets later (it didn't take long!), and we were done. We'd fired AK-47s and survived. After that we fired a 'Browning', which is an even more powerful machine gun, and decided to call it a day.


We were going to point out to the scary men that we'd 'Messed With The Best', and had quite clearly not 'Died Like The Rest'. We decided against it.

Tuk-Tuk'd it back to town, with an agreement to be picked up again at 5am to go and visit the famous Angkor Temples at sunrise.

On Tuesday, we woke up at midday. We couldn't believe Mr Tuk Tuk wasn't outside waiting for us. We were only 7 hours late. Some 'best friend' he turned out to be.

Found a new best friend (his name was Mr Tuk Tuk too), and decided to go to the temples. The biggest one is called Angkor Wat, and is the biggest religious building in the world. Someone told us it is one of the 7 wonders of the world, but not sure if this is true. (Dave Kilner is one of them, we know that much).

It was immense, and we soon realised why everyone had made such a fuss about visiting. The photos don't do it justice but will give you some idea at least.



After eating a pineapple-on-a-stick, we went to another temple called Angkor Thom and watched the sun set over the Bayon, which is the main section of this temple. An amazing day.


Tuk-tuk'd it back to town, had some food (Dave - Pork, Matt - Pasta) and now we're here writing this.

But now we've finished.

Bye.

Saturday 10 November 2007

We've survived over a week so far......

Firstly, Dave's hair is growing REALLY slowly, and we can't work out why. Secondly, everyone keeps staring at his legs. This must be for one of two reasons....... Either he has fantastic, toned, tanned pins, or they're the palest two things ever to be spotted in Thailand. Still trying to work it out....

Since our last post we've been really busy. On Monday we got up at 6.15am (after an hour's sleep!), and got on a bus for about an hour and a quarter to the floating market. It was amazing. You get on what is basically a long canoe-type-thing which holds 6 people (see picture!).

As you're rowed up and down a maze of canals, there are shops floating past too. If you want to buy something then the two boats meet in the middle of the water. Job done.

After the floating market we went to see a monkey show. It was pretty cool to get a photo with one, but also a bit worrying.

It seemed really cruel seeing them chained up. They were only being allowed off the chain to play basketball or ride a bike. We could only imagine what punishment one particular monkey would be getting after we left. It dared to refuse to jump through a ring of fire.

On a happier note, we met an elephant in the car park and fed it bananas. So there.

Next on the agenda was a crocodile and elephant show. You can imagine it, elephants playing football and generally being big and heavy.

The crocodiles were BRILLIANT!! There were two members of staff, each with a death wish, who would put things in the crocodile's mouth and try and get them out before the jaws snapped shut.

When we say things, we mean their heads. They would prise open the croc's mouth, lay on the floor and put their whole head in between the jaws. There must be safer ways to make a few baht than that, surely?!


Got home, drank beer, went to bed. (We'll not bother adding that bit in future, just presume it to be true.)

Tuesday....

Woke up late, jumped on the Skytrain to the river, and got on the boat to see the Grand Palace lit up at night. We decided the cheapest way to do this was to get on one of the free shuttle boats which served the major hotels.

Us being us, we got on the wrong boat and went in the wrong direction down the river, and ended up at the Marriott hotel. It has a swimming pool. And we were in shorts.....

So, we strolled over to the towel man, told him we were in room 417 (never fails) and went for a swim!! Free swimming is so much better than the old-fashioned paid-for type.

Went to KFC (it's not the same taste as home!), back on the Skytrain (still with wet shorts. It looked like we'd both had a toilet accident by this point.), beers, bed.

Typing is hard work.

Wednesday was the day we were finally going to cuddle tigers. You'll never guess what happened... We missed our train.

Yeah but, no but, yeah but it wasn't our fault yeah. Traffic chaos at 6.15am (it never, ever stops) meant it took ages to get to Bangkok Noi station, so we missed the first of only 3 trains a day to Kanchanaburi.

We had about 6 hours to kill, so we thought it would be good idea to get a taxi to the Grand Palace. Got there in shorts, only to be told (1) you have to wear long trousers, and (2) it wasn't open til 11am.

We are rubbish at stuff.

Plan C kicked in (wish we'd made a plan 'A' and 'B'), and a very nice Tuk-Tuk driver took us to the Golden Mount and waited while we went in, the Big Buddah (and waited while we went in), then back to the Grand Palace. This cost us the grand total of 20 baht. That's 30p.

Golden Mount is a big building with lots of steps and a great view over the city, and Big Buddah is..... a big Buddha.

So, back to the Grand Palace, rented some long trousers (bet we looked good on their dancefloor) and had a look round. It's impressive, as the photo will show. Lots of tourists and lots of blokes with guns. Only small blokes though and we think they work there.

Finally got the train just before 2pm to Kanchanaburi, 2 hours West of Bangkok. Really enjoyed our first Thai train journey, sat chilling with some monks in our carriage.

Checked in to a wicked log cabin on stilts at the Blue Star Resort in Kanchanaburi, and had a bit of a kip. Went out for a beer about 11pm, and got chatting to two people from Holmfirth. That's in Yorkshire you know. One of them was Simon Hirst's old accountant back in his Hallam FM days!!

Next day was definitely Tiger cuddling day. (Heard that before somewhere?!)

So on Thursday we decided to go to the Erewan Waterfall in the morning, then the Tiger Temple in the afternoon. We hired a scooter after a Thai breakfast of beans on toast, and set off.

After 48 miles of Matt's legs being wrapped round Dave on a scooter, we arrived at the waterfall. 7 tiers to climb up, each one absolutely stunning. We got as far as level 5 and had a swim. We'll let the photos do the talking about this one.

Came back via the Tiger Temple, took AGES to find it, and by that time it was closed. No tigers for us then.

So, beers, food, and an extra night in Kanchanaburi (!) meant TODAY was the day we'd DEFINITELY see the tigers. Bloody sick of saying that.

Friday 9th November 2007. The day Matt and Dave would finally get to cuddle tigers. Surely nothing could go wrong?

It didn't, and we finally got to meet a monk and his cats. His cats are big. We paid 1000 baht (about 14 quid) to get a big tiger's head in our lap. The reason the tiger is happy to have it's head slung in people's laps all day is because it is asleep for the whole thing!!

Apart from the big one, there were about 6 other tigers, some awake, some asleep, and we were led from one to another for photos. They sleep for up to 20 hours a day. Best job ever.

Missed another train, so got a bus back to the wrong part of Bangkok, taxi back to prison, wrote this.

Phew.

Sunday 4 November 2007

We've arrived!!

Firstly, how are we?

Right then, we arrived on Friday after 21 hours travelling (including 3 hours to do the '40 minute journey' from the airport in to Bangkok centre!). Checked in to our prison cell (sorry, hostel) and realised that this room ain't big enough for two. But there's two of us so we're managing so far!

Went out on Friday night to see what Bangkok has to offer, and had a drink in a bar which had a thai kick boxing match going off in the middle! A bit weird having a drink seeing two blokes beat the life out of each other. (Unless you go for a drink in Sheffield on a matchday...)




We were thoroughly disgusted at the combination of beer and fighting. We're going back there tonight. Me vs Matt. Winner gets the prison cell to himself for the night.

At night the streets are full of market stalls selling everything from girls to tazer guns, and the odd elephant too. Everywhere you turn, the sound of 'tuk-tuk' rings out from local drivers wanting to take you 'anywhere for 30 baht' (about 50p!).


Today we've been on the skytrain, which is basically a big monorail through the city. Matt's been loving the heights and has now managed to walk up 4 steps.

There's a few dodgy characters around, and it's not uncommon to see a middle aged Western man with a young Thai boy. A bit disturbing to see at first, but it's obvious this city is run on the sex industry.

It's very warm, around 30 degrees at midnight, even hotter during the day. We're going to the Holiday Inn this afternoon to pretend we're staying there and to have a swim on the 6th floor outdoor pool!! There's even a tennis court up there too.

Tomorrow we're off to a floating market (we'll explain next time!), and then off to see tigers and elephants!! That's about it for now, speak to you soon x